MLCAA – 1st Reported Case

As some of you may recall, I introduced the Monkey Lung Cancer Awareness Association (MLCAA) early in this blog and have yet to provide any further updates, because, quite frankly, there were none!

Until now.

A stunning development in the MLCAA has been made, an actual case of monkey lung cancer has been reported. Riveting.

Potentially a tall-tale recounted by a mischevious co-worker, this is the story of Riad, a Chimpanzee in Saudi Arabia kept by a young man who we’ll call Mohammed, 21 years old, a friend of a friend that Jeremy, my co-worker, met in college in Kansas.

According to Jeremy, the Chimpanzee was purchased as a baby and was 1-2 years old by the time he developed his smoking addiction and lung affliction.

Apparently, Mohammed at first shared cigarettes with his Chimpanzee pal, but over time Riad learned where to find the materials to roll his own cigarettes, and even learned how to light them himself and ended up chain smoking all day. Eventually Riad had to be chained up to prevent him from stealing and to curb his habit. It is reported that he preferred spliffs.

Not much information was given on Riad’s ailment, but apparently his health soon began to suffer, perhaps losing weight and appetite. Signs point to lung cancer but I have no further information to back that up. His health condition could also be due to loneliness, not having other Chimpanzees around, or malnutrition, among other things. In general, Chimpanzees are NOT recommended as pets because they are wild animals and have complex emotional and physical needs that the regular human, ie Mohammed, are not trained to know about or address. Also, purchasing a Chimpanzee is illegal and supports the Illegal Pet Trade which is responsible for the mistreatment of many wild, endangered animals.

Let this story serve as a lesson that #1 Chimpanzees are not meant to be pets, and #2, feeding them cigarettes can make them sick.

This message has been brought to you by the MLCAA, Brooklyn-Santa Cruz Chapter.

More updates to come!

xo

KB

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Monkey Lung Cancer Awareness Association (MLCAA)

Every year, it is possible that many monkeys are diagnosed with lung cancer, especially in the entertainment industry. Helping to raise awareness for this heartbreaking affliction, MLCAA provides financial and psychological support for monkeys suffering from lung cancer and tobacco addiction.

monkey lung cancer awareness

 

Note: this is a joke, possibly with some truth