Well, my Tennessee adventure has come to a close with mixed feelings of relief and a tinge of remorse; yes, remorse.
How can I sanely leave behind that beautiful setting and that peace: tucked away in a mountain hollow–the creek, the goats, the chorus of crickets and starry nights, the wide open spaces–how can I leave all that and replace it with a top bunk in a shared room in Queens with a backyard I cant even go into and no way to grow my own food…a very stark contrast of environment and lifestyle, to say the least. I also feel this way about leaving Santa Cruz, my beautiful hometown by the sea.
But alas, this is what I have chosen to do. All so I can pursue tap dancing. Lets hope this works.
A few days ago I left the goat farm and hopped on a Megabus from Knoxville to NYC. It took about 15 hours, cost me $14 for one ticket…whaaat?! I paid $20ish for a second ticket for my extra bags. And guess what, they DIDN’T lose my bags like Greyhound did! All in all it was a good experience and I give Megabus 2 thumbs way up.
A little about my last bit of time at the farm.
I got very bored for a few days. Bored and restless. Familiar feelings and thoughts circled in my head–thinking forward to life in New York, thinking back to times when I had more fun, more contact with people, more cute guys to flirt with (TSGB)…wanting to leave and not appreciating just BEING, being at the goat farm. I noticed myself getting real irritable and not wanting to talk much with my farm host. I was blaming her for my boredom. UNTIL, I started to realize my feelings couldn’t be her fault, because I had felt that same way before on many of my adventures. So, I did what I normally do with phsychological problems these days…I consulted my moderately qualified counsellor…the internet. And found a video of a sweaty guru talking about boredom that at first I was hesitant to watch but am now glad I did.
My takeaway from that video is that Osho is a very interesting man and, more importantly, that boredom is a beautiful thing. It is a feeling, that when you have it, you can say: “Welcome boredom, you are my friend and I am happy you came to visit me.”
Once you realize you are bored, that the thoughts swimming around in your head are just thoughts and that you can dismiss them, or let them pass, THEN you can realize where you are, realize that you are YOU, just sitting in your kingdom (your body) and just be…be like that. Enjoy just sitting in your palace–your body, baby–just like a king, or Daenerys Targaryen, enjoys sitting in his/her throne. Something like that.
For some reason that idea really helped me get past fretting about my boredom. Something about me that I have been learning over the years is that boredom is among my least favorite feelings, it is uncomfortable! When I feel bored I feel anxious and want to DO something to change it. That is perhaps why I live the life that I do. Because I don’t like to be bored, I move around a lot, seeking out adventure and new experiences. But even on my adventures, I get bored. Sometimes terribly bored. Now however, I am happy that I can welcome the boredom and start to just chill when I feel it. Exciting times ahead.
Also in my boredom internet therapy session, I did some research on the speaker/philosopher Osho and his desire to spread his “cool love” throughout humanity.
I want to spread Oshos cool love too, and I’ll start by sharing his talk on “The Coolness of Love.”
A few more farm updates:
I finished the garden, planting a variety of winter vegetables that I hope will grow.
Here’s a series of photos showing the garden’s makeover:
And Finally…as done as I could be with it…seeds planted and starting to sprout.
I also finished knitting socks and a baby hat and said bye bye to all my new animal friends.
Thats about it to wrap up my farm experience. I will add a post soon about cashmere production.
Thank you for reading and all the best!